Archive for March, 2008

29
Mar

See My Side

I’ve been trying for days to think of a way
To find the words to make sense of how we behave
This might take a while, so please just hear me out,

You know how things can get crazy when we go ablaze
We just get carried away
Believe me, I know
Don’t even say a word,
Now just please hear me out

See my side, and I’ll see yours better
Love me back and I’ll love you better

Sometimes the stunts that we pull don’t even make sense
But I was never the one to feel the resent
This ain’t about who’s to blame
So please just hear me out

When the scene gets intense, it’s hard to prevent
From going all crazy again
Believe me, I know
Don’t even say a word, now please hear me out

See my side, and I’ll see yours better
Love me back, and I’ll love you better

We’ll get right back on the right track

See my side and I’ll see yours better
Love me back and I’ll love you better

note: dedicate to all my friends who might hear the ugly rumors. now if u really are my friend, you’ll verified the stories with me first instead of avoiding me. hear my side, and i’ll hear yours better…

(and i keep praying that God won’t take away few precious friends whom i trusted. i don’t care what others want to think because they don’t know me. but please don’t take away my friends’ trust to me. please, just let me keep what little i have…)

22
Mar

Random Facts About Me

1. i hate my hair. that’s why shiera, u never see me let my hair to be past my shoulder. i guess the less u see them, the better. kot. but fret not. as soon as i have lotsa money, i’m going to spend them on my obsessions: lingerie and hair. so if u wnt to go karok with me on saturdays, u better make appointment with me first because it’s most likely i already have an appointment with my hair stylist at the high-end salon. (belum kaya dh berangan nk lupa diri. rosak… rosak…)

2. i can look at blood without feeling queasy but i have trouble HEARING the word blood. seriously. if i ever heard the word (like when somebody telling me his/her nose bleeds) i will instantly feel weak and my knee will feel numb and i almost can’t walk or move. ade sekali my team for the co-cu decide to give a talk. i dont know what is the topic until the day of the presentation. bapakla dia citer psl blood donation! aku rasa aku dh pucat kt belakang kelas tu dgr dia sebut2 blood here and there. masa tu aku rasa nk baling dia dgn kasut aku tp tak beretika la pulak kan. like, it’s not like her fault pun because she didn’t know my condition. lepas tu lagi cilake sbb cikgu bg additional comment about the presentation and tell us the story of ppl yg sakit berkaitan darah! god! gila punishment aku utk hari tu. aku dh start humming a tune utk diri sendiri to avoid listening to the story dh. lps tu aku taleh nk bgn bila kelas habes sbb lutut aku dh ketar2 dh. ngong.

3. i enjoy texting with my dad. so klu ko tgk aku chuckled sorg2 masa tgh main message, jgn jump into conclusion yg aku tgh flirt the sesapa. mebi masa tu aku tgh main mesej dgn abah aku! lol. but i seldom call him, though.

4.i have a very unique ‘code’ when i’m talking to my dad. actually, i have trouble asking him for money because i stopped asking him for money since i was in form 1 (because i got a scholarship dr kerajaan negeri). so sgtla janggal tetiba nk mntk duit kt dia. but living here without MARA bank-in kan scholar utk dua tiga bulan ni adalah sgt ssh, ok. so i have to ask him for money. tp bagaimanala aku harus nk mntk duit dr abah bcoz i dont know how! so aku pun call dia. borak2 psl fyp la, psl jiran la, psl kesihatan dia la, but never about money. the next day dia masukkan duit dlm akaun aku. dia leh phm aku tader duit sbb klu aku tader ape2, aku akan msg dia. but if i need money, i’ll call him to talk about… everything. lol. sgt comel kan abah aku?

5. i can’t stand the smell of strong coffee. i’ll have headache if i ever smell that godforsaken thing. but i like the smell in a bistro called Old Town, sbb bau coffee dia lembuuuut saja. weird. i know.

6. if i have the option whether to sleep in a hot room or cold room, i’ll choose the former. i can’t stand to sleep in a cold room. aku leh tido lena dgn badan peluh2 in a hot room tp aku takkan dpt tido lena in the cold room the whole night because i’ll shiver like mad. unless klu ada comforter 13 inci. or atok hugging me while sleeping. then thats ok.

7. i have a ‘theme color’ every year. when i was in form 3 - 5, my theme color is black. so i have black everything. black clothes, black tudung, black bag, black kasut…even the shampoo is black (feather urang aring. lol). rasa2 klu shower cream ada yg warna hitm, mebi aku beli jgk kot. then my next theme color is pink. so i have pink everything. then green. sbb i will unconsciously pick everything green (igt x dy ko tgk toiletries aku wrna hijaaaaau je tu). bila dh smpai bilik, baru perasan semua benda wrna hijau. sick. then warna purple. skrg warna coklat. even though i dont really like brown, but klu nk beli something tgn ni asyik terambik benda yg warna coklat je. even i can’t explain that phenomenon.

8. in our relationship, atok is the one who remembers all the important dates. so a few weeks before the big event, he will drop some hint so that i wont forget the date. now i really understand how the husbands feel if they suddenly forget an important date (say, anniversary). mmg menempah maut…

9. i dont like "textbook presents" (flowers and chocolates and teddy bears), because they are not… original and it shows u r lazy. and it also not practical. i prefer something practical or personal. practical: baju, novel, beg (thnx syiera!), even cute mugs yg harga less than rm10 (price is never the issue). personal: home-made cards (thnx asiah and dy!), bwk aku jln2 (thnx bi, and all my friends yg join birthday bash last year!), bek mkn2. etch. see? sng je nk bg aku hadiah. hehe

10. i can be manipulative but i can make the person whom i manipulate feel like they are doing me a favor. it’s all psychological, folks!

11. i can’t control my facial expression. i mean, ppl can guess what i think by just judging my facial expression. sgt bagus in relationship because atok will know what to say/do to me if anything is wrong, but very very very bad in a threatening situation (say, job interview. u dont want to let the interviewee know u r scared the shit out of u)

12. some ppl forgive and forget, some forgive but never forget. but i forget, but not forgive. thats why when i see somebody who have problem with me dulu2, i always think "i know i should hate him/her, but i dont know why". LOL. sick. i know.

20
Mar

Kene Tag

telah ditag oleh cikgu dyana untuk
wat…err… survey? is this what it’s called? whatever la. i hv to list down
what are the things that are hibernating in the closet/ laci/ purse. so here
goes:

1. the things in my office drawer
-tader office, so tader drawer. but if there is, i think i’m gonna put lotsa
candies and anti-depressant pill in there. hahaha.

2. drawer in closet
-errrr… panties and bras and panty liners and pads. (haaa…i see some of u
blush oredy. cute. lol)

3. drawer at study table
- some coins, some notes (not academic notes, more like reminders), paper
cuttings (errr…sy suka simpan sampah. sy sgt messy. klu x caye tya asiah or
syiera), foods (mknn pun letak dlm laciiii??? mampos kene bebel kalau mak aku
tau), box yg dipenuhi dgn manual (manual henset, manual kamera, manual mp3 and
all the shebangs), some stationaries yg tk muat nk letak dlm pen holder.

4. kitchen drawer
- bekas plastic and all the things that previous occupant tak bawak balik. i
think there are rats oso down there. lol. joke ok, joke. gilos ada tikus.bapak
pengotor rumah p’puan ada tikus.

5. bag
- camera, notes, academic notes, compressed powder, pencil case, purse, kad
raye (tatau la naper bendealah ni ada kt situ), calculator

6. purse
-student id, reload coupon, membership cards (popular, mph, body shop, jj
card), bank card, ic, library card, business cards (boyfren’s, org yg betulkn
pc, org yg jual brg2 fyp), receipts from various stores (kan aku ske simpan
sampah… lol), star-lrt return ticket (tak jadi guna sbb bf dtg jemput dr ofis
htr balik rumah. burn rm2.50 aku), penyata bank, coins, oil blotter, some cash.

P1060583
khazanah dlm purse

7. top 5 names in phonebookur
- abah, abg bidi (colleague kt practical dulu), adzran (classmate), aiman
(friend), aisyah (classmate kt jasin)

8. last 5 names in phonebook
- ? (secret admirer aku yg ske wat misscall tp bila aku msg or call tanak plk
jwb. coward), zila 019 (bestfren kt batu kikir), yun c (my baby sis), yun (org
sama, tp no. maxis), yuliana (classmate kt jasin. weh, do u still use this
number? lama dh ni kot aku simpan no. ni)

9. speed dial
- 2: boyfren, 3: abah (keji. letak nama bf dulu dr abah. aiyo, priority dah
salah)

10. the nearest red stationary around me
- scissors

ppl i wnt to tag:
1. askwhat (oi…i give u a reason to
update ur blog
here. wakaka~)
2. asrul (post ko asyik yg berat2 je.
mari kita ringan-ringan pulak. errr… maksud aku wat entry ringan2. aku tak
ajak ko ringan2 ye)

19
Mar

Californication

citer ni dh lama kot kt utp. citer 18sx yg rasa2 cam tader substance je. citer psl how a guy is miserable because he left the love of his life. so how to counter that? he fucked around… yeah, dumb solutions, but hey, if he is happy with that, then who am i to question it?…

but it makes me wonder, how can u love someone so bloody much but still fuck other ppl?

human beings are mysterious, really…

p/s: pardon the blasphemy. pengaruh tv la ni. held me blameless, please. im just a sweet little old lady… *kelip2 mata dgn manja*

16
Mar

Weird la… Weird…

in my last post i said a guy thinks i am beautiful. now scratch that. TWO guys think i am beautiful. wahahahah…how about that?

i just feel very weird actually. why suddenly i am a hot stuff this sem? ngahahaha…
.
.
.
.
p/s: no, the two guys didnt know each other. so korg taleh kata derg berpakat sesama sendiri nk kenakan nenek. "weh, jom kita ckp kt miza dia lawa nk? tgk caner dia poyo lps ni. [insert evil laugh here]"

p/p/s: sbnrnya tader la ada apa2 perasaan pun. tak poyo, tak perasan, nothing. im still down-to-earth. mebi ini langkah pertama derg nk mntk pinjam duit or something. sapa tau kan? wahahah…

15
Mar

Home Alone

so much things happen in this past week. some were exciting, some were bored, some were…well, so-so.

1. lately my boyfriend called me few times a day. he doesnt usually like that. usually he will call me once a day, late at night because ‘he want to hear my voice before he’s gonna sleep’. yes, i know he misses me. he seldom says it. and i think it’s very sweet of him even though i think it’s very ironic because he a lot easier to say ‘i love you’ than ‘i miss you’. i mean… normally other guys are the other way around kan? hehe…

2. somebody thinks i’m beautiful. i was like…wow, marvelous! this is the first time a guy other than my boyfriend actually tell me that i’m beautiful. upfront pulak tu somemore. hihi… sukeee… actually i know i’m beautiful tp dh ade org ngaku, so kira selama ni tak perasan and poyo sorg2 la kan? hihihi…

3. looks like everybody is taking care of me:
mom: klu takde duit jgn sonyap yo. bagitau la abah. biar abah masuk an duit. ini buleh lak taknak mkn po-bagai sobab sogan nak mntk duit.
boyfriend: jgn lupa mkn. klu tader duit, cakap. nnt sy bank in.
a friend: if u hv problem, just tell me. i’ll be there for u. i’ll always be there for u.
ANOTHER friend: if anything, just go straight to me. clarify things with me. klu tak, u will judge the matter based on what OTHERS think.
yet ANOTHER friend: im not here in utp rite now. if anything, just call my room mate to ask his help.

yes, people. somebody actually entrusted me to other’s care while they’re not here in utp. i feel so… loved. *sebak*

/me terharu

4. i’ve lost so much weight lately. an after effect of the combination of lots of power walk to the class (bangun lambat, so kena jln laju2 nk g kls) and not eating properly. i did my fyp lab from 9am - 4pm everyday during the mid sem break. so i usually skip my lunch. dh la pagi tu tak breakfast. plus with my super metabolism somemore… hai…canerla tak melidi badan aku… i have to wear my pants with belts skrg. klu tak dia melondeh. nmpk seluar dlm. i mean, i know ini adalah fesyen remaja masa kini utk nmpk sepender ms pki jeans, but im not fond of the trend. macam la aku ni remaja pon. hahaha… and the skinny jeans that supposedly hugs my legs just beautifully pun dh longgar. gile byk turun berat. *sigh*

5. my boyfriend went to kelantan and buy me a brown blouse. i havent seen the blouse yet, but i was a bit, well…disheartened to hear the choice of color. i have tonnes of brown clothes already. all picked by him! i guess he’s trying to convert me to a brown-lover person. bi, u do whatever u think u need to do, but i still like pink ok? biarla nmpk mcm perempuan bimbo ke apa, i still like pink. thank you. haha…

but, really, i love everything u give me. yang atas sy tulis ni saje je nk kutuk awk. wahahahaha…

6. i successfully finished a set of reading for one temperature difference for my fyp. rasa legaaaa… but then a friend ask me a series of ’spot questions’ which he thinks will be asked by the external examiner during pre-edx. then i realized i cannot answer most of his questions! ahhh…cuak2…

7. utp adalah bosan masa cuti. sebbaik aku g wat lab sepanjang cuti ni. so tak nmpk sgt la kebosanannye. oh ye, sepanjang mid sem, i stay ALONE (gasp!) in the house. so mlm2 adalah sgt sunyiiii dan seraaaam. nk mandi pun sebelum maghrib because i have a vivid imagination of some kind of apparition will show up in the mirror while im brushing my teeth or something. like…seraaaam okaaay? tanak r pengalaman angker masa duduk kt rumah sorg2…huhu…

hah…see…ingat wat entry dlm bentuk point ni leh la wat entry pendek2 sket. dasar perempuan. klu dh mula bercakap taleh nk berenti…  hahaha

07
Mar

Vote Wisely

note: this post is NOT written by nenek, the sweet little old lady, but by  her  no-nonsense, foul-mouth alter-ego

selalunye sy akan cuba mengelak utk memblog psl benda yg:
1. memalukan sy atau org len, sbb sy tau itu adalah equivalent kepada mengumpat. sy sll benci dgn org yg suka mengumpat. so i try to avoid to stoop at their level
2. sensitif, like racism, religion or politics

thats y u see i never blog about something heavy. i dont mind ppl thinking that i hv air for brain for having such a mindless blog, but its my blog and i already decide that i wont blog about something heavy. this blog is narcissistic and ego-centric in nature. if u want to hv a healthy political discussion, sila fuck off and pegi baca blog org len. (my original intention of blogging was never to write for ppl to read my thoughts. i write for myself anyway. but i appreciate that there are some of my frens yg jd regular reader for this blog. even tho u never drop in a comment, yes, i know u read this. thnx babe/mate)

but just for this entry (and memandangkan besok adalah GE), so i think i hv to pen in a word or two about my opinion about GE. i’ll try to make it as neutral in nature as possible.

i was born to a government-supporter parents. walopon bukan penyokong extreme but i know they are not going to vote the opposition in this coming election. i grow up in an environment where informations was distributed via mass-media (own by government, btw), where the informations were controlled to the highest level, so that what i get were only the good things only. and yes, sy adalah org BN. but my choice was not because of the ‘illusion’ (as some of my opposition-supporter friends so delicately put it) they put in my head. rather, its my choice, my decision.

as a woman, i naturally vote for stability. and ppl automatically assume i vote BN. but like what a friend put in his post in k5 (a forum for utp students), malaysians are observing the phenomenon. we think. and what i observe is not to my liking. kes kidnap+rogol+bunuh bertambah year to year. i hv the right to feel uneasy and a little unsafe in my own neighborhood. when i said stability, i dont mean economy or financial security or stability alone. i need more than that. i need to feel safe to go out alone, to trust the stranger enough to let him/her to stop me at the street to ask me questions without jumping to conclusion that s/he will try to harm me in any way. i need to trust the good in ppl. i need to feel secure.

what happen now, i found that i ignore ppl in the street. i even get advice from relatives who are living in KL to ‘ignore ppl when u r walking in KL’. i have to look confident while walking, like i know where im going because when they smell that u r not familiar with that city, they will take advantage of that. eh, ini apekebende plk citer psl jln2 kt KL ni. my point is, i dont feel safe to walk in KL (pudu especially), even tho police ada je kt situ. this is not healthy, ppl. not healthy at all.

what the government offers rite now is not the security in terms of keselamatan. the percentage of crime is increased some more, instead of menurun. i really worried about this. im not only worried about my ass je, it actually extend to my offspring. i want them to grow up in a secure environment. i want them to be able to play in the playground without worrying some sick pervert will prey on them there. i wnt them to learn to be independent, walking alone to school without me having to htr or jemput derg. i wnt them to go to the pasar malam or mall alone without me having to tag along. but in the atmosphere rite now, i cnt do that. some motherfucker will try to kidnap them. hoi, dh la bersusah payah aku buat anak, ada org sng2 nk kidnap anak aku plk. mesti la aku marah, ok?

so, is that mean i hv to vote for the opposition? i sincerely believe, if we give them the chance utk mentadbir negara ni, they can do a good job also, providing we give them all the access to the logistics like money, human capital and everything BN hv right now. the only thing kenapa kita nmpk kelantan mcm tak berapa maju is because kerajaan pusat tak bagi peruntukan pada mereka. how about if they are given to all the shebangs? i believe they can do a good job. i mean, come on ppl, their crime rate is lower compared to negeri2 under BN. if u said, ‘eleh, still hv crime in kelantan what. alim2 pun ade gk yg wat jahat’, come on, be reasonable. manusia ni dicampak kemana2 still sama. sure akan ada yg baik, ada yg jht. bda yg kita kena tgk is that they are able to contain the crime form escalating. so, in that sense, i feel secure enough to vote for opposition.

but, when i see their manifesto, a thought occur to me. turunkan harga petrol? do they even aware yg bukan kita yg control harga minyak? klu subsidi byk sgt, boleh cripple country mcm ni. then yg plg sy takleh terima ialah bg elaun pd penganggur? hello? hey, klu macam tu lagi bertambah la penganggur kt negara ni. i mean, u dont hv to work, but u still can survive. klu camtu, apa gunanya aku bljr smpai nk mati kt utp ni klu in the end aku still leh dpt duit klu tak keja? i mean, of kos la ko akan dpt gaji yg lbh lumayan klu ko keja tp klu ko tayah belajar n keja, ddk2 goyang kaki kt rumah still leh dpt duit? of kos aku cr the easy way out. dh la aku ni like any typical malaysian gk. hahaha… the manifesto surely cn cripple our economy. kita kena berusaha utk meningkat ekonomi negara. klu tak nnt, kuasa luar sng nk influence kita, then pgg ekonomi kita. aku tanak jd cam indon. please, aku tanak.

manifesto by opposition is very ideal. very nice on paper, but in real world, can it be carried out succesfully? i dont think so. klu ikut term engineering pun, the term ‘ideal’ means something so perfect to simplify the calculation, something that someone hope to attain, which usually serve as the bench mark. see, we ‘hope’ to attain the perfect state, but in our mind and restricted capabilities, we know we can never achieve them. they should revise their manifesto and put something more logical and doable la to convince ppl like me. i find it hard to believe that because, well, i study abt that. im a bit sceptical, yes.

i went to ipoh today to buy something for my fyp lab. and the chinese there already asked about whom im gonna vote for.

‘u vote pas ke keadilan?’

derg tak tya pun whom i vote for. and pilihan jwpn dia pun restricted to BA candidates je. haha. then my friend asked him whom he vote.

‘tak kisah la mana2 lor. pas ke, keadilan ke, dap ke’

again, no BN in anywhere of his answer. nice. can we safely assume ipoh milik siapa sekarang? hahahaha… (but seriously, i will be very suspicious klu tetiba BN mng kt ipoh. by undi pos some more. huhu)

it seems that ppl wanted to see changes. they are already disgusted with whats happening now. even tho i said me too, wnt to c some changes, but i also harbor some hope that BN itself will do the changes. give pak lah another chance. biar dia jd pm for another 5 years. lagipun, dlm masa 5thn, apa sgt perubahan yg dia leh bwk. 5 years is very short time. tun mahathir pun perlukan 20++thn barula malaysia dikenali dunia. if in 10yrs reign pak lah still cannot bring the changes, then its time for malaysian to vote for the alternatives.

bear in mind, kita kena tgk dr kedua2 belah pihak. aku penyokong kerajaan, but that doesnt make me blind to their faults. tak semua yg BN buat and kata tu betul, and tak semua BA buat and kata tu salah. kedua2 nya ada kelebihan and kekurangan. but at the back of my mind, i cant stop hoping that one day BN and BA will unite. sbb bygkn how strong malaysia will be sbb kelemahan of both parties boleh ditampung oleh kelebihan of both parties. meaning, kelebihan BN dlm segi economy and management boleh tampung kelemahan BA, tp kelebihan BA dr segi moral, spirit and religion boleh tampung kelemahan BN. i know its quite impossible to happen, but as i said, i can only hope and wait that somehow, someday, its gonna happen.

as for you ppl, vote wisely. aku buat kesilapan tak daftar awl2 so cannot use my right to vote for the election. if u want my prediction, i’ll say that this year election, BN will win with very thin majority. let us give paklah another penggal to rule malaysia. let see how he fare. and be reasonable. we are talking about ruling a country here, folks. some projects just cannot be done in 5yrs. but lots of changes can be done within that time frame. so lets see what changes he can bring for this coming 5 years. beginning with crime rate. bring the percentage down, and ill be happy to cast my vote for the government for the next GE.

and klu dlm masa 5 thn ni crime rate still escalates, then sorry. i’ll vote for changes. i’ll vote for stability that is promised by the BA…

lagu tema GE tahun ini: Shine On by Dewa

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Reff
Shine on … shine on
Let’s make harmony.. for a better future
Shine on … shine on
Let’s make harmony.. for a better future

Buat harmony.. biar bumi ini
Jadi lebih indah.. untuk anak kita

Shine on … shine on

Let’s make harmony.. for a better future

Shine on … shine on

Let’s make harmony.. for a better future

Shine on … shine on

Let’s make harmony.. for a better future

Shine on … shine on

Let’s make harmony.. for a better future