Bila Nenek Membebel

i just finished my lunch and decided to go to finance to settle some ‘debt’. it never occur to me that the staff in finance will not be there for they are also taking their lunch break. so u know how i feel when i went there and no soul was to be seen? i wanted to curse but i know its my fault for thinking so selfishly that they will wait for me to come to them. as if… haha

with heavy heart, i walked back to my room. (do u know how far i hv to walk? do you? aiya… im boiling here). a few moments later, the athan for zuhur prayer was heard. there were very few ppl around the academic complex and the weather was quite cloudy at that time. the mood around suddenly changed. with the athan on the background and the dark atmosphere and few ppl around, i think i feel such calmness and… i dont know, somewhat eerie feeling at that time.

i concentrated on the athan. for some reason, the soothing sound made me feel almost as if i was floating in the air. i didnt even aware that i walked very slowly. suddenly i felt like i used to be in this exact situation before. but i dont know when. i concentrated on that and try to recall any event from my memories. but the harder that i tried, the more the memories seems to fade away.

Allah hu Akbar, Allah hu Akbar

Lailahaillallah…

towards the end of the athan, without any reason i suddenly looked at the lush forest opposite building 22 and the memories flowed with such rush that i was stopped on my track. i remember this. i used to be here before. it was in my dream. i walked here in my dream.

**********************************************rewind************************************************
it was eleven years ago. i was 12. and it was Ramadhan. i slept after the sahur. it was then when i had this strange dream. in that dream, i was walking alone in an indeterminate place. it was quite dark and i assumed it was near dusk for there is athan in the background. i remember the feeling of calmness wash over me as i listen to the athan. i looked around. i was in the middle of a jungle but i was walking on a modern pavement and there was also a modern building nearby. towards the end of the athan, i looked to my left and saw a beautiful forest.

the dream end there because my dad woke me up to perform my subuh prayer. as it was already subuh, i assumed the athan that i heard in my dream was probably came from the mosque nearby. but i remembered i felt really calm when i woke up.

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here i am, eleven years later. i recognized the modern pavement. i recognized the modern building. i recognized the lush forest i saw just before i woke up. i know this sounds bizarre and freaky and unbelievable. but i know what i saw and i remembered what i felt.

is there any possibility that i saw my ‘future’ during that time on Ramadhan month? haha… i dont know. and i cant explain that. but one thing i know, UTP is very new. its ‘age’ is not even eleven years but i can have dream based on what it is NOW.

my…if i can see my future, then maybe i am one of the ppl that have the special abilities in Heroes…

save the leader, save the world - Hiro Nakamura

edit: this is just a quick edit and addition to what i said about my deja-vu experience:
last nite i was rummaging thru my file which i put my every certificates and important documents in it. i first ‘collecting’ the certs and docs since i was secondary school lagi. and here’s what i found:

this paper cutting was dated back in 2002 (refer to the box if u dont trust me), when i was in form 5. remember that i said that i want to be an engineer because i dont want to be neither doctor nor accountant? well, when i was in form 5, i know that i want to study chemical engineering because i *uhuk* ‘ace’ the chemistry subject. but actually i never stated specifically that i want to be an environmental chemical engineer or anything. my decision was very broad. but look at what i circled in the paper cutting. i actually took an advertisement about HSE engineer! now let me tell you something. actually, i never notice what is written at the left side of the advertisement because what i really read was what the requirements might be. now that i unearth all this back, i just notice the HSE engineer part. does it a mere coincidence that i fought my best to take environment this sem? does it embedded on my subconscious mind that i am to take environment as my major?

yes, another creepy thought, dont u think? ;p